I NO LONGER KNOW.....

I hav been chasing gals all my life...Trying to have a gal in my life, I mean a gal who means something to me...but as u know in vain.. As a child I wanted tis particular girl in my life. I thought ters no life without her.without her I wldnt be able to live.. But time passed and I felt the same about another girl...again I did amazing thngs to woo her( amazing by my standards:-)) but in vain..and then happened again and yet again... Every time the feeling was as strong and fresh as ever... But this kept happening over and over again...But yet I was not to realise...Point to note is that I did land females that I didnt realy want in my life.. But hormones u know B-)
So now when I am 27...I have the job I dreamt of some time in life..I had money I always wanted...Everything
I had ever hoped...But I no longer want all this...I don't know what I want but I am sure I want smthng else...Tis in no way means I wld shy away frm duties or ever think about it.. In fact for someone like me for whom honour , this kind of resposibility , and my men and my duty are far more important than anything else in life this is unthinkable...
But my question to life and me in fact remains the same.. What da fuck do u realy want??????????
So I feel that this LOVE that has eluded me for so long Is this wat I realy want???
After trying so hard to woo the gals I ve always ..trying so hard to make them part of my life and trying so hard to be part of their life , and them driving me away so easily like It nvr meant anythng to them( I am sure it didn't) I AM REALY NOT SURE AND SAY TO my self " I NO LONGER KNOW" ..
CHEERS