WARRIOR OF LIGHT......

I AM A FAN OF PAULO COELHO'S WRITING ( although i never seem to get spelling of his last name right the first time) WHEN I READ THE ALCHEMIST I COULD REALLY FIND THE SPIRITUAL MESSAGE IN IT BUT WAS MORE INTERESTED IN THE JOURNEY THE SHEPHERD TAKES..I GUESS THAT'S HOW I LOOKED AT LIFE THEN..JUST LIVING IT AND NOT TRYING TO FIND TO MANY LESSONS AND MESSAGES IN IT..THE I WENT ON TO READ THE             AUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY OF THE MAN HIMSELF - " A WARRIOR'S LIFE ". MIGHTY IMPRESSED BY THE UPS AND DOWNS THAT HE WENT THROUGH. I WILL NOT SAY THAT HIS BOOKS OR LIFE UNTIL THEN HAD ANY KIND OF IMPACT ON MY LIFE UNTIL THEN ALTHOUGH IT DID AND AFTER SOME TIME I DID TAKE A FEW DECISIONS THAT MADE ME AND WILL MAKE ME FEEL MUCH BETTER ALL MY LIFE.BUT THAT'S A WHOLE NEW STORY!!! I HAVE NOT READ ALL HIS EVEN.. BUT I THINK IT HARDLY MATTERS. ONE DAY I CAME ACROSS THIS ESSAY OF HIS - THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT ( MANUAL) IT WAS A FEW PAGE ESSAY.
WHAT IT SAID WAS JUST TOO AMAZING FOR ME. IT GOES AS BELOW :

 " THEY ARE NEVER PREDICTABLE.THEY MIGHT DANCE DOWN THEIR WAY TO WORK,GAZE INTO EYES OF A COMPLETE STRANGER AND SPEAK OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR ELSE DEFEND A COMPLETELY ABSURD IDEA
.
THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES DAYS LIKE THESE.THEY ARE NOT AFRAID TO WEEP OVER ANCIENT SORROWS OR FEEL JOYS AT NEW DISCOVERIES.

WHEN THEY BELIEVE THE MOMENT HAS ARRIVED THEY DROP EVERYTHING AND GO OFF ON SOME LONG DREAMED ADVENTURE. WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY CAN DO NO MORE , THEY BLAME THEMSELVES FOR HAVING COMMITTED A FEW UNEXPECTED ACTS OF FOLLY.WARRIORS DO NOT SPEND SINGLE DAYS TRYING TO PLAY ROLE OTHERS HAVE CHOSEN FOR THEM .

THEY TALK ALOUD TO THEMSELVES FOR SOMEONE TOLD THEM THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO COMMUNICATE TO ANGELS SO THEY TAKE A CHANCE AND TRY TO MAKE CONTACT, THEY SAY THINGS WHICH THEY DO NOT AGREE , THEY TALK UTTER NONSENSE.

ONE DAY THEY NOTICE A CHANGE IN THEIR VOICE.THEY ARE ACTING AS A CHANNEL TO SOME HIGHER WISDOM. THE WARRIORS MAY LOOK MAD BUT IT'S JUST A DISGUISE... "

LIKE EVERYONE DOES TRY TO FIT INTO THE MOVIES THEY LOVE , THE BOOKS THEY LIKE AS A CHARACTER, EVEN I TRIED TO FIT INTO TO THIS  AND IT ALMOST FIT PERFECTLY... BUT THEN MAY BE MOST OF US WOULD FIT INTO THIS ONE..

I NO LONGER KNOW.....

I hav been chasing gals all my life...Trying to have a gal in my life, I mean a gal who means something to me...but as u know in vain.. As a child I wanted tis particular girl in my life. I thought ters no life without her.without her I wldnt be able to live.. But time passed and I felt the same about another girl...again I did amazing thngs to woo her( amazing by my standards:-)) but in vain..and then happened again and yet again... Every time the feeling was as strong and fresh as ever... But this kept happening over and over again...But yet I was not to realise...Point to note is that I did land females that I didnt realy want in my life.. But hormones u know B-)
So now when I am 27...I have the job I dreamt of some time in life..I had money I always wanted...Everything
I had ever hoped...But I no longer want all this...I don't know what I want but I am sure I want smthng else...Tis in no way means I wld shy away frm duties or ever think about it.. In fact for someone like me for whom honour , this kind of resposibility , and my men and my duty are far more important than anything else in life this is unthinkable...
But my question to life and me in fact remains the same.. What da fuck do u realy want??????????
So I feel that this LOVE that has eluded me for so long Is this wat I realy want???
After trying so hard to woo the gals I ve always ..trying so hard to make them part of my life and trying so hard to be part of their life , and them driving me away so easily like It nvr meant anythng to them( I am sure it didn't) I AM REALY NOT SURE AND SAY TO my self " I NO LONGER KNOW" ..
CHEERS

THAT FIRST CRUSH!!!!

S.<p>Today after 10 to 12 years I spoke to my firSt crush!!!! Its as if I spoke to her for first time!!( plz read spoke as chatted/texted,:-/) <br>
And the happiest time here was between when my frnd told me about her existence and when she told me shes geting married...soon enough!! Nice I said...u can understand how nice it was and hw nice it has been since then:-)<br>
STORY MY LIFE I wld say<br>
Tis realy sounds funny nw..I remember falling for her in first grade...i remember writing her name on last page of my book and luking at it as a big adventure...and then erasing it off b4 any1 else cld c it...The way I stared at her I m nt sure she wld remember it bt must ve felt I was a crazy stalker...Going frm road in frnt of house several times a day...to get a luk of her..following her arnd in lunch time...and after all this nt having the balls to speak to her for years and years..8 to b precise..And then holding onto those few words u ever spoke to her or she threw towards u...
MORAL OF THE STORY' CRUSHES COME AND GO BUT LIFE MOVES ON..SO IF U DNT HV THE BALLZ BORROW THEM BUT SAY WHAT U HAVE TO SAY!!!!
CHEER